There are moments in your life when you have to make difficult choices. Sometimes, those moments include letting go of someone you love. When this happens, you know you have been through a lot with the person and, at the moment, it is in the best interest of all involved to move on in life no longer being part of one another's life.
I have found myself in this situation. I love my brother with all my heart, but right now it is no prudent for me to continue fighting for our relationship. It is time for us to go our separate ways and seek happiness in our own lives. It is an extremely heartbreaking decision for me to make and I have shed a lot of tears over it, but in the end I feel this is what is best. I need to focus on other things in my life rather than having to put so much effort into trying to make things work between myself and him with his wife, whom I have strong negative feelings about, doing everything in her power to destroy. I have to give it to her, she has a very manipulating way about her and is great at making the other person look like they are in the wrong when it is obvious she is the one starting the problems. Well, if my brother wants to believe her (whom he has only known a very short time and she has a very poor history of three failed marriages lasting very short periods and is disrespectful in posting inappropriate photos of herself online, as well as making out with my brother in front of our entire family - siblings, parents and children, after only having met us once before) over his sister, who has been there for him through thick and thin of divorce, a major car accident, problems with his ex-wife and getting custody of their sons away from her, and even listening to problems he has had with the new wife. I have been honest about everything. I tried to bite my tongue, but she began a fight a while back and I finally had enough and told her exactly how I felt and what I thought. That is what happens when you push someone too far. Of course, that was her plan and she used it against me to lure my brother more into her web and farther from me. She is conniving and manipulative. She has claws and she has them dug deep into my brother. Her family belongs to a cult and we fear she is pulling him away from us and into that cult with her family. She now has him spending time with her family and not his own, but she tries to claim she pushes him to spend time with us when she talks to our mom. She sucks up to my parents and falsely uses faith as a way to get in with my parents, but lives an ungodly life. It has been awful and I so badly wish she would just go away and leave my brother alone.
I know he was lonely and I know men do not do well lonely, but he was much better off without her. My brother has reported to me a while back and more recently to my mother that she treats my nephews badly, but when confronted about that now, he denies it and says she loves them and takes good care of them. A matter of a few weeks ago, he was telling our mom that he wanted her to leave and not come back and now his story is that he is so in love with her and can't live without her. This isn't the first time he has said this, as he said the same thing to me a few weeks before he told our parents he was going to marry her. I don't understand the constant flip flop, back and forth, swing of emotions toward her. If you love someone that much, you don't ever want them to leave, even when they have hurt you. And why would you let someone treat your children badly? She tells my 10 year old nephew that he is fat. Who does that to a child? And how can you tell him that he is fat when your own daughter is quite overweight? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
Well, anyway... My brother has been bamboozled and I am no longer willing to continue to fight for his love. I have spent the last 8 weeks having 2 surgeries to reconstruct the first of two broken ankles, with two more surgeries to go to reconstruct the other ankle and at least 15 more weeks until I may be finished with the surgeries and rehab of both ankles. During all of this, my brother, whom normally would text and call to check on me frequently, has not been checking on me at all. I send him updates that I send to the rest of our extended family (aunt and cousins) and get no reply. I feel like he just doesn't care about me or my family anymore and am no longer sharing my life with him. Why keep putting effort in with someone that shows no interest in being part of your life any longer? There is none. I am done and my life can still be complete without him. I have shed my tears and I may shed a few more tonight, but I will leave them on my pillow and move forward with my life and be happy with the people I have in my life now.
