R-E-S-P-E-C-T! It is not just a great song that we all love to sing. It is the cornerstone of any relationship and when I say relationship I am not just referring to the romantic kind. Within every parent-child, husband-wife, employer-employee, friend-friend, doctor- patient relationship there must be respect. You have to respect the wisdom of a parent to care for the child; the husband and wife to look out for the best interest of one another; the employer to provide for the employee and the employee to work hard for the employer; the friend to be there for one another through thick and thin; the doctor to provide appropriate care to the patient and the patient to be honest with the doctor.
Within the confines of a marriage one seeks loyalty, honesty, love, trust and security. In the parent-child relationship, the child depends on the parent to provide for its needs, offer advice when needed, teach daily living skills and encourage the exploration of his/ her talents. In the employer-employee relationship there must be trust on both parts, there is a responsibility to one another to provide - the employer to provide fair compensation and benefits and the employee to provide fair work for the compensation, as well as a trust to keep business matters confidential. In the doctor-patient relationship there is a trust by the patient in the doctor's ability to provide the most appropriate care and by the doctor that the patient is being honest about their health history and symptoms. Without this, things can go awry.
As a single women, I have been asked by many people what is it that I am looking for in a man. The answer is quite simple - RESPECT! It is the sinlge most important quality to have in any relationship. As long as there is respect, loyalty, honesty, security and trust is always present. In order to cheat on someone, you have to lose respect for that person. In order to lie or gossip about another person, you can not have respect for him/ her. In order to steal from an employer, you must not have respect for them. If a doctor performs an unnecessary procedure or fails to test a patient for a possible condition symptoms point to, then the doctor does not respect the patient. If a parent fails to care for a child or puts their wants above the needs of their child, there is no respect for the child and if a child speaks rudely to a parent, the child is lacking in respect for the parent.
If we make it a priority in our life to respect others and respect ourselves, life will be much more pleasant and fulfilling for all.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A Child's Village
Anyone who has ever been a parent, or even a child's caregiver at all, will fully agree that raising children is as far from easy as climbing the highest peaks. Just like with any mountain range, there are ups and downs, peaks and valleys. There are times when it feels hard to breathe. There are times when you are just so exhausted you aren't sure how much more you have to give. There are times of great jubilation at the summit of a mountain. No one ever said it would be easy. No one ever designed a how-to manual. No one ever wrote a play book for parenting. No, it is all learned through trial and error - you just have to do your best, use your common sense, and pray when times seem tough.
When Hillary Clinton said, "it takes a village to raise a child," it was the most poignant thing ever to come from her lips. For the first time, I agreed with her. It does take a village to raise a child. The village consists of unconditionally loving parents, involved family members, friends that are true and there at all times, teachers that not only want to educate, but also want to love the children they teach, and people who don't even realize they are in a village. It takes having a network of people who love the child, who teach the child in every way, who lend support when it is needed and worry even when there seems to be no reason to.
From the time a child is conceived this network begins to develop. The parents begin loving, caring for and worrying about the child well before his/ her birth. The family eagerly awaits the child's birth and prays for good health and a safe delivery. The friends pray as well and are there to talk about the joys and pains of the pregnancy. The network has already fallen in love with the child well before they have even had a chance to see him/ her. Once the child is born, and as the child grows, the network grows with him/ her - doctors, teachers, more friends, and even acquaintances are placed in the child's life to fill in a piece of the child's Life Pie. The size of the pie piece is not going to be equal by any means for each category within the network. Obviously, the largest piece of the pie lies with the parents. They are the ones who handle the day to day living situations. They are the ones that make sure the child has the necessities and many times a lot of the luxuries in life. They provide the guidance, love, support, nurture and discipline the child needs to grow into a well rounded adult. The extended family is there to support the family unit (mom, dad and child/ children) and to also provide a certain level of guidance and discipline. The family provides love and nurture as well, just a little different than the loving bond between parent and child. The friends support the family unit and provide an outlet when one needs to talk. They are there to help when it is needed. They, too, love the child, as well as the family. Acquaintances never realize the importance of their role in a child's life. Their kindness can touch a trouble heart. Their actions can provide a guidance that they may not see. And their words can give great insight and knowledge, many times this can happen within a relatively simple conversation and sometimes unknowingly.
The job of raising a child lies primarily with the parents, however it must be realized the sole responsibility is not with the parents. It is with each of us that comes in contact with a child, even if there are no words spoken or touch given. It is the way you conduct yourself within a child's view. It is the smile you share. It is the prayer you pray. It is the very nature of being a good example, not some of the time, but being conscious of your behaviour all of the time.
To each of us, I pray we are able to conduct ourselves with honor, respect, wisdom, love and with the reminder that little eyes are all around and it is up to us to be that good example for every child... and even for the adults that might not realize the the significance of their own actions in the lives of the children in their village. Proudly accept your role within the village and be the shining example a child needs to see - always!
When Hillary Clinton said, "it takes a village to raise a child," it was the most poignant thing ever to come from her lips. For the first time, I agreed with her. It does take a village to raise a child. The village consists of unconditionally loving parents, involved family members, friends that are true and there at all times, teachers that not only want to educate, but also want to love the children they teach, and people who don't even realize they are in a village. It takes having a network of people who love the child, who teach the child in every way, who lend support when it is needed and worry even when there seems to be no reason to.
From the time a child is conceived this network begins to develop. The parents begin loving, caring for and worrying about the child well before his/ her birth. The family eagerly awaits the child's birth and prays for good health and a safe delivery. The friends pray as well and are there to talk about the joys and pains of the pregnancy. The network has already fallen in love with the child well before they have even had a chance to see him/ her. Once the child is born, and as the child grows, the network grows with him/ her - doctors, teachers, more friends, and even acquaintances are placed in the child's life to fill in a piece of the child's Life Pie. The size of the pie piece is not going to be equal by any means for each category within the network. Obviously, the largest piece of the pie lies with the parents. They are the ones who handle the day to day living situations. They are the ones that make sure the child has the necessities and many times a lot of the luxuries in life. They provide the guidance, love, support, nurture and discipline the child needs to grow into a well rounded adult. The extended family is there to support the family unit (mom, dad and child/ children) and to also provide a certain level of guidance and discipline. The family provides love and nurture as well, just a little different than the loving bond between parent and child. The friends support the family unit and provide an outlet when one needs to talk. They are there to help when it is needed. They, too, love the child, as well as the family. Acquaintances never realize the importance of their role in a child's life. Their kindness can touch a trouble heart. Their actions can provide a guidance that they may not see. And their words can give great insight and knowledge, many times this can happen within a relatively simple conversation and sometimes unknowingly.
The job of raising a child lies primarily with the parents, however it must be realized the sole responsibility is not with the parents. It is with each of us that comes in contact with a child, even if there are no words spoken or touch given. It is the way you conduct yourself within a child's view. It is the smile you share. It is the prayer you pray. It is the very nature of being a good example, not some of the time, but being conscious of your behaviour all of the time.
To each of us, I pray we are able to conduct ourselves with honor, respect, wisdom, love and with the reminder that little eyes are all around and it is up to us to be that good example for every child... and even for the adults that might not realize the the significance of their own actions in the lives of the children in their village. Proudly accept your role within the village and be the shining example a child needs to see - always!
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